Hiker

by Anna Vogelzang

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1.
04:34
awake the bear living there, behind your chest the one you can't outrun cause when you scream, that is the bear leveling your grief now you awake it is a snake inside your underside it’s clenched round you like a rope a quickened breath the mathematics of resistance: take a walk, count to 10 if I am just an animal like you hit with a brick stuck staring at the ceiling the wolves are in your house the sky is white, there is a switch somewhere you cannot find so you wait and you howl blood in your mouth the softest spot inside your crown you know that you must run and so you drive quell the beast against the riverside level down, even out dear, I am just an animal like you or maybe I’ve been blue spinning a cocoon of drug store lies wake me, shake me, love they're coming for my beeswax heart left there for dead the sparrow's cape laid open across the tired shore a small brigade feel the wings within your rib cage amble up, stir the storm here I am, just an animal…
2.
03:49
let me rise you up like a garden let me burrow into your kindness until I'm ready to see myself again = I am no bargain I ache stem to stern tending my old wounds I walk over the world and until I find my place I just keep walking we are born trying hungry & blue planted inside us as if kicking was all that we knew and until we find our rest we just keep fighting battening down when that hunger storms our towns in this bright blinking bullet that's speeding us fiercely home you are an animal that broke through the net searching for sunlight to sow your sweet bed that pallet calls to me I’ll grow into something kind as the stars lay down my burdens & satellite scars and rooted against your chest I will come home, I will: barrel through dark as the clouds burst into drops against the side of this bullet that's speeding me fiercely home towards you towards the sun
3.
04:45
you got your number I got my scar the dark hospital your broke down car this is the moment they will tell you, “sink or swim” oh, but you’re on a mountain digging up your demons five four three two one five four three two one five four three two one five four three two, one more time before you go on you ascended monsters in hand your hollow summit your native land oh and the lightless chorus, hear them singing out your sins but the song grows dimmer now you’re on the precipice oh down in the freight train the slowest heaven I knew your neck each curve and canyon your bird boned hands your safety net I burn your boxes you burn your finger prints five four three two one five four three two one five four three two one five four three two one away we go
4.
04:00
SL: drums, shaker, synth TS: bass AV: electric guitar, vocals Choral arrangement adapted from “Bright Morning Stars Are Rising” (Traditional).
5.
04:31
there are ghosts in your teeth ghosts in your sleep in yr small town standing in the gazebo they run in packs casing houses at night sayin all the right things hunting you by the street lights oh oh oh there are ghosts up ahead flagging the car down behind the tree line asking forgiveness you place your bets I play the fiddle, light as a feather the wax in our wings oh oh oh oh oh the fear and the failure the sheep and the shepherd the rush to encounter the chase to the slaughter the hunting, the history when we hear them howl we know that we are just as hungry and we are just as restless there are ghosts at your back outrunning the freight train crowding the dive bars breathing down danger they come teeth bared they cut off yr power your paper tiger buried in the back yard oh oh oh it comes down through the blood the stalking of prey running shoulder to shoulder keeping up with your brother your fear of death is bigger than your body a phantom limb calling the holiest grail my fear to your failure the sheep and the shepherd my rush to encounter your chase to the slaughter the hunting, the history when we start to howl, we know that we are just as hungry and we are just as restless there are ghosts in your teeth ghosts in your sleep in your small town
6.
03:48
if today is a stray dog out in your back yard, snow piling up around its neck and it howls through the silence sees you by the window holds its breath until you look away who am I to keep crawling back across the tundra full moon flickers like a flame to this house which is holy ground I cannot keep the walls from echoing your name singing, “ooh” I would like to breathe again all my troubles underwater split the wound wide open singing, “glory hallelujah, my soul is at peace glory hallelujah, I have been released” I cannot make a sound loud enough to stake my claim when I fall if I drown leave my body bound by the banks of the river and sing, “ooh, glory hallelujah, I have been released glory hallelujah”
7.
magic bullet what you got is not enough for me arms around it catapult again, again to be born so hungry to be born so full to be here so restless to be here with you I have not grown tired of this bliss apparition made of flesh and flaws and calling out blessed friction bring me back again, again to be born entangled to be born alone to be here voracious to be here at all I have not grown tired of your face
I have not grown tired hidden treasure what you got will be my tiny key holy water lead me home again, again to be born so wild to be born so whole to be here so helpless to be here a wolf I have not grown tired of this chase I have not grown tired
8.
03:53
every time I think about it we are driving North with the ocean to the port side we are driving North & things are looking up for you things are looking up for you things are looking up for me & you but here the blood moon is a spotlight shining on your door hanging starboard to the red cliffs pulling me straight to your door when will this be enough for you when will this be enough for you when will I be enough? & ooh, all that I am after is that momentary lapse in judgement & ooh, it comes at you plain-faced without sheep’s clothes to distract you from the animal I am I am driving through the canyon I am crying out climbing upwards towards the egg moon it is waning, I am crying out I know it’s hard to believe it’s been hard just to believe I know it is hard to believe in me I don’t wanna keep on wanting I wanna make a different choice I don’t wanna keep on hunting been using my hands to destroy things and that is not all that I am after every time I think about it we are driving North with my thumb against your wrist, quiet wild flowers in the door
9.
03:28
burn the books in the belly of your boat skip the stones that you stole from off the shore this is a pilgrimage you are a pilgrimage paint the picture of the person you would be if your rabbit heart could bear the jealousy teach yourself to build a fire wild in the wintertime every blue girl tattooed with taxidermy in her arms every soothsayer every salesman door to door every sorcerer, fortune teller shadow boxer setting bones every storm in every home beg the tuning forks inside your body hum stoke the fire fodder in you, burn the sun this is a pilgrimage you are a pilgrimage sweetness how you taste like snake oil on the tongue white light, wolves are at your door you're on the run again teach yourself to build a fire wild in the wintertime every blue girl tattooed with taxidermy in her arms every soothsayer every salesman door to door every sorcerer, fortune teller shadow boxer setting bones every storm in every home
10.
03:40
you broke open you broke down roots of the garden coming up drowned I would've come running lightning feet I was surrounded stuck in the season of restless seas under the frost line over the stone digging a basement burning the bones I would've come flying a sparked live wire I was surrounded stuck in the season of wildfires you don't have to hold on so tightly cut your tether lay down in a bed of poppies and look up you run ragged and you run fast racking up miles breaking your back I should’ve come swinging a circling ace but I'm surrounded stuck in this season of hurricanes
11.
04:11
I’d say my center is built out of glass a prism I've fastened together with thread I have not always been strong it is so easy to fall into darkness when poison gets you through the night winds are batting down your door candles burning up your prayers into the sky trouble's been brewing I’ve soldered the pieces but shadows trespass threatening to shatter my might someone nail down the windows cause here comes the winter to smash up that diamond and use it as knives when poison gets you through the night giants stomping on your porch bottle rockets burning up into the sky clamping down the crystal vice on the secrets that you keep on the bitter, jealous means full of bullets, left in pieces this stained glass spire it’s been leaking when it rains scares me awake thunder shakes the frame slow burn the edges with my flickering torch but the rains come down, down fighting and mighty I lay bare my chest wave fronts pass through me twisting & bending the light I’ve been trying to open ease in to the cracks reveal the bright bullets nestled inside it's poison gets me through the night winds demolish this glass house pistols shooting danger up in to the sky clamping down the crystal vice on the danger that we need on the bitter, jealous, means full of bullets and I want to apologize for the secrets that keep for the times I've been unkind I am trying to reflect the light your valor, your daring affection calls me a diamond holds up a mirror
12.
03:29
I am undone a puddle of bones & blood a heartbeat away from 4000 white flags a prodigal son your only begotten one I've rambled so far I can't find my way back to the light and with each new sun I walk down to the water looking for the future floating by but you do not come orphaned or not, my love you have been bound by burdens born and died with each night so come on home it's lonesome when the water climbs so high come on home the darkness cannot drive between the line from me to you we have been folded in like one bread, like one body chronologies set deep into the crown lay it all down here, down by the water incurable, this wound wound lifetimes long turns to light you do not need to be broken for me you do not need to be broken passed in our blood a swimming, heavy history freighted with language slanted and unkind the translator's heart is building a syntax ark hammering words against/into the blueing tides of the night so come on home it's lonesome when the water climbs so high come on home the darkness cannot drive between the line from you to me

about

copyright 2016 / Paper Anchor Music 

all songs written by Anna Vogelzang / Cant D’Ocell Music, ASCAP
Produced by Todd Sickafoose

credits

released May 6, 2016

Anna Vogelzang: electric & acoustic guitars, ukulele, kalimba, banjo, baritone ukulele, vocals
Shane Leonard: drums, percussion, acoustic guitar, banjo, synth, B3 organ, electronics
Todd Sicakfoose: bass, piano, pump organ, loops, synths, mellotron

Recorded by Billy Barnett @ Gung-Ho Studio
and Todd Sickafoose @ Earycanal in Eugene, OR, April 2015.
Mixed by Todd Sickafoose at Earycanal
Mastered by Alan Douches at West West Side Audio

Design by Erin Fuller

Field Recording on #7 provided by Hannah Rose Tristram. Field Recording on #10 captured by Anna Vogelzang in Chimacum, WA.

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