CARTOGRAPHY

by Anna Vogelzang

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1.
03:07
i have gone one quarter of america's armspan & it is 1 am & i am so damn close to you & i am driving through your town, but i am not calling no i have made amends so i will just be passing through & i will use this road, i'll use it i will write you letters on my arm i'll use this day, i'll use it i will sing you into all my songs yes i will sing my heart i will call you up & then i'll make sure i call my mom i'll make sure all the people that i love know that i love them now i have gone halfway across america's armspan which must mean i am coming towards her heart & i've been thinking all day about that time that you kissed me in the bathroom & how since that day our lives have gotten so damn hard & i will use this road, i'll use it i will write you letters on my arm i'll use this day, i'll use it i will sing you into all my songs yes i will sing my heart i will call you up & then i'll make sure i call my mom i'll make sure all the people that i love know that i love them
2.
01:39
toy boats are just a game my heart is made of paper the sea is made of cellophane & you are just a dream you're just a ghost you're just a sailor's ghost whose been left howling in the eye of the storm you're just a figment you are atlantis you're just a siren lost up on the rocks you are a shipwreck you are an epic tale of bravery vanquished shunned out by the sea i am a lighthouse i am the north star route i am an anchor dug deep in the ground of lake michigan
3.
05:32
this distance is pulling my limbs apart this country's grace is so wide and so hard as we sail down the road through the dancers & the drinkers & the bars a sunset in iowa, balloons over minnesota and a helix of birds funneling in arkansas and I knew when I left that this would be hard I've been crying for ghosts the thinness of winter the ease of wind ripping through your skirts and I know this is what I do this is how I'm meant to move but sometimes the homesick is just the last step it's like going against the ocean lonely & jealous & haunted streets all the neon lights greet us as we make our entrance and it seems that memphis is pretty bare in this part of town & there standing ominous across the road a dilapidated drive in is flashing like gold but tonight I'll just get drunk in my hotel room and I'll wish you could take me to the drive in tonight there'd be necking in the back seat & soda pop & window speakers and I would wear my nicest dress and saddle shoes I would like to show you this america but if I had sailed here on some silver screen I'd probably still be holding on to my demons cause even sailors & movie stars get lost some nights & the rain comes in rivers, and the warmth is a nice change but my heartache is tucked away inside my suitcase and I wish, I just wish that I was at home I'm still crying for ghosts the thinness of winter the ease of wind ripping through your skirts and I know this is what I do this is how I'm meant to move but sometimes the homesick is just the last step it's like going against the ocean
4.
03:35
are you happy do you miss me do you love her or are you settling have you prayed real hard have you played that song are you sorry like i'm sorry gone baby gone & I do confess you shook me so but I will kill you, ghost and I will save my soul do you believe in coincidence & do you just call it fate was it all timing was it just one day too late have you hailed mary under the freeway do you cling to your rosary while you try to fall asleep & I do confess you shook me so but I will kill you, ghost and I will save my soul have you sung your pennance have you thought about it do you think about it are you over it are you over it like i'm over it do you miss me could you be happy could you ever be happy are you happy yet
5.
the leaves have died the streets are cold the boats have sailed the birds have flown down south away from here & i have seen you skulking by my window tucked behind the sky's dark sweater intentions clear well you're sorry & mean hearted but you know me back & forth well i'm sorry that you caught me but you'll find me at the shore sometimes when i wake up at night my fists are clenched above my eyes just waiting for a fight so i'll be yours if you'll be mine the ring's wide open pick yr side i'd love to dance all night well you're sorry & mean hearted but you know me back & forth well i'm sorry that you caught me but you'll find me at the shore
6.
00:59
LET GO! I can't! I will!
7.
03:19
she said, "we've lost too many good women up to madison, wisconsin please don't go stay afloat & sail the seas instead" cause new york can be a different kind of beast if you put away your teeth leave it be let it hunt bitter & free but still i propose to him by telephone once the gin's lodged in my bones & you all can pretend that that's my reason but don't worry i'll know in 10 days i will be the age that my mother was when she found out about me goodbye, 23 & i did not die as i thought i might in fact, i'm very much alive you know what they say these are the best years of our lives & i know it's all i know i'm all & i know i'm right where i belong counting change & miles & swan songs i will fly out of this little town leave my lakes & drown my superstitions i only believe in women
8.
04:16
louisa has eyes just like stones inside a well that you once fell down before you knew that girls who throw stones rarely back down louisa sings like a sailor grunts with her guitar never in tune louisa dances at punk shows likes to knit sweaters follows the moon she says, there's gonna be trouble at home there's gonna be trouble at home there's gonna be trouble at home if you don't get back soon louisa she is a painter like something post modern in a magazine she spends nights in the gallery when no ones looking watching TV oh louisa do you remember last winter when i broke apart your summer dress louisa how did i lose you & can you remember how hard you possessed me louisa i love you but i will not let him down no matter how hard i try louisa i'm sorry but come back inside turn out the light this floor is cold & your bed is warm so what is the harm throw a log on the stove spend the night louisa she is a ghost town i cannot escape no matter my speed louisa let's meet in virginia & exorcise demons we cannot see well there is a man in this room who wants to kiss me pretend i am his he saddles up on the couch and passes a bowl and the turntable spins oh, louisa she holds up a mirror she closes her black eyes says you are a soldier you are a warrior you are a gypsy & you always will be better than this & hey, look up, you can see the stars look you can see the stars just look up look you can see the stars all the way out here
9.
03:24
caffeine dreams & salted sheets new hampshire you're too good to me i can't recall why i would ever leave & god how i miss massachusetts streets that pull my heart strings & my feet just find their way out to the sea home is something old in photos home is something you build with your hands home is probably right where you are well babe, i'm coming home my broken hearts live in new york the ones i can't seem to let go of & all the songs that flood the riverbanks but i was born in a pile of snow a sea of lilacs, red & golden leaves i miss you but hey, i always come back home is something old in photos home is something you build with your hands home is probably right where you are well baby i am coming home there's a secret language that you know when your heart hits the shore that you learn when you are born before you learn to speak but i have not forgotten you blue walls, blue eyes, blue bones, you know new england, you're the one i'll never lose
10.
01:19
the internet will break your heart.
11.
you were living underwater behind a smoke screen made of ink you were just your father's daughter flailing, trying desperate not to sink you had learned how to be sweet without knowing how to swim found a mermaid at the beach let her danger drag you in a little sad, a little thrilled a little stoned but even still your heart will pull you to the coast & you will build your sea glass house you were writing water sonnets out of steel and bone and shells but you had never thought the hardest part would be writing to yourself but first you tried to learn to breathe you made patchwork quilts from coral and as you leaned how to receive you started floating upwards a little sad, a little thrilled a little hard but even still the currents pull you to the coast & you will build your sea glass house now you have found that grace can come on the days when you have given up and walking underneath the sun is just as brave as swimming & kindness rights a few small wrongs & what is left is where you started from but poems, waves, new lungs, or songs are not a bad beginning a little sad, a little thrilled a little hurt but even still this life will pull you to the coast & you will build your sea glass house a little sad, a little thrilled a little hurt but even still my heart will pull me to the coast & i will build my sea glass house
12.
all day long i pretend i'm a scientist radium music through computer screens blood, sweat, & spit under the microscope look through & see the love swimming through me look through & see the love swimming through me let's start a riot! let's move to mexico let's build a hideout! let's just stay out on the road and never come home i would like to get drunk in the afternoon meet at the playground or sit out on the tracks crunch big numbers underneath our tennis shoes jump off the deep end & never look back jump off the deep end & never ever look back the only people that we know live on stages or in TV boxes and so it's hard to even know who is real, who still loves us, & who we made up in our heads long ago, so, let's start a riot! let's move to mexico let's build a hideout! let's just stay out on the road and never come home

about

written, arranged, & recorded in 12 days for the RPM challenge of 2009. this record is lovingly imperfect, which is why it's free. free! all i ask is that you donate your email address to my mailing list (bandcamp doesn't keep track of it), & i promise that i will never spam you. of course, monetary donations are never turned away, either. i mean, we are in a recession, people.

all songs copyright anna vogelzang 2009/cant d'ocell music (ASCAP). love & thanks to andrew, guy, joe, chrisitne, birthday friend yellers, kind neighbors, & the cop in ohio who let me off with a warning. recorded in anna's laundry room (madison, WI) except for tracks 6&10, recorded in guy's attic (portsmouth, NH). this project is dedicated to new england, with all of my heart. www.theanna.com!

credits

released March 1, 2009

anna vogelzang wrote this album. all of its parts were performed entirely by anna EXCEPT tracks 6 & 10 which are graced by guy capecelatro III (bass & guitar & yelling) & joseph arnold (fiddle & high hat & yelling). also a special appearance on track 12 by anna's birthday party (more yelling).

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Anna Vogelzang Los Angeles, California

the internet will break your heart.

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